When my mum passes away, I will be faced with a big decision, how to honour her life in a way that feels right. With funeral costs soaring, direct cremation seems like the most practical and affordable option. No service, no mourners, just a simple cremation and return of her ashes.

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But something in me can’t do it. Here’s why I refuse to give my mum a direct cremation:

1. I Want to Say a Proper Goodbye

A direct cremation will have mum taken away and cremated without a service, without family present, without a final farewell.

I understand why many people choose it, it’s simple, it’s cost-effective, and it removes a lot of the stress. But for me, I need a moment to say goodbye. I need to see her one last time, to have a space to grieve properly, and to honour her in a way that felt meaningful.

2. Funerals Aren’t Just for the Deceased. They’re for the Living

Mum will be gone, but we will still be here. Her family. Her friends. The people who loved her.

I have learnt that a funeral isn’t just about what happens to the body, it’s about what happens to the people left behind. A direct cremation would leave us with no gathering, no stories, no shared grief, and I need those things.

Instead, we will plan a small, personal ceremony before the cremation. It won’t be extravagant, but it will give us a chance to:

  • Hold her hand one last time
  • Share stories that made us laugh and cry
  • Support each other in a way that online condolences never could

It’s not about following funeral traditions, it’s about giving ourselves permission to grieve together.

3. She Deserves More Than Just Processing

The idea of mum’s body being treated like paperwork, collected, cremated, returned in an urn with no ceremony, does not sit right with me.

She isn’t just a case to be processed. She is my mum. The woman who raised me, loved me, and shaped my entire world.

I couldn’t let her final moments on Earth be handled like a transaction. Even though she is okay with a simple farewell, I want to give her the dignity, respect, and gratitude she deserves.

4. I Don’t Want to Regret It Later

Funeral decisions are permanent. There are no do-overs.

I ask myself: Will I regret choosing direct cremation?

The answer was yes. I know that if I skipped the chance to say goodbye properly, it would stay with me for the rest of my life.

I don’t want to live with that regret. I want to know that I had done everything I could to honour her memory.

5. We Will Create a Farewell That Is Right for Us

Instead of a traditional funeral, we will plan a small, personal farewell that suits who Mum was.

  • A private viewing for close family
  • A memorial at her favourite beach, where we scatter her ashes
  • A casual gathering where we play her favourite songs and tell stories

We will skip the expensive casket, the formal chapel, and the strict traditions. Instead, we will focus on what matters most, love, family, and memories.

Final Thoughts: No Regrets, Just Love

I don’t judge anyone who chooses direct cremation, for some, it’s the best decision. But for me, I need more.

Saying goodbye properly will help me heal. It will give me a sense of closure. And most importantly, it will give my mum the respect and love she deserves.

If you’re planning a funeral, my advice is this: Don’t just think about cost and convenience. Think about what will bring you peace in the years to come.

If you need help finding affordable, meaningful funeral options, visit eziFunerals because every farewell should feel right, not rushed.

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Peter

Peter Erceg is the Founder and Owner of eziFunerals — Australia’s Independent Funeral Planning Authority. With more than 40 years of experience in government and public health, Peter has become one of the country’s leading voices on funeral transparency, consumer rights, and ethical funeral practices. Through eziFunerals, Peter has built a national platform that empowers Australian families to make informed end-of-life decisions — free from pressure, commissions, and confusion. His goal is simple: "to help every Australian plan smarter, save money, and choose funeral services with confidence." 🕊 eziFunerals was founded by Peter in 2011, as an independent funeral comparison and planning platform that allows consumers to: • Compare local funeral directors and transparent quotes, • Understand real funeral costs across Australia, and • Connect with trusted, independent funeral homes that uphold the Fair Funeral Promise. As Australia’s Independent Funeral Planning Authority, eziFunerals is recognised by media, consumers, and funeral professionals for its leadership in price transparency and consumer protection. “We believe every family deserves a fair, dignified, and affordable farewell — without hidden fees or sales pressure.” 📘 Peter is the author of What Kind of Funeral: A Self-Help Guide to Planning a Meaningful Funeral, a practical guide that has helped thousands of Australians understand their options and avoid unnecessary costs. He regularly contributes articles and commentary on: • Funeral cost transparency and industry reform, • Prepaid funerals and consumer protection, • Emerging trends in eco-friendly and digital memorials, and • The role of AI and technology in end-of-life planning. 🎙 Peter and eziFunerals have been featured in major Australian media outlets including ABC News. His insights continue to shape the national conversation on funeral costs, consumer rights, and ethical practices in the funeral industry. ⚖️ Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by Peter Erceg are his own and do not necessarily reflect those of eziFunerals or its members. The information provided on this site is general in nature and should not be taken as personal, legal, or financial advice. Consumers are encouraged to conduct their own research and compare funeral services that best meet their needs and circumstances.