Pallbearers: Who will carry the coffin?

One of the many important choices we need to make when arranging a funeral is the selection of pallbearers.

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A pallbearer is someone who is selected by a close family member of the deceased to help carry the coffin to the place of service or burial site at a funeral. There are typically six to eight pallbearers, depending on the size and weight of the coffin.

Pallbearer selection

It’s never easy being the person having to make decisions for a funeral after someone you love passes away. It’s important to surround yourself with people who care about you and can help you with whatever need arises. This includes selecting the best pallbearers.

Some people feel that it isn’t proper to ask a family member to be a pallbearer. If you feel this way, choose very close friends you trust. The current thought on the choosing of pallbearers is that this is acceptable, but not necessary. Other people you may want to consider are business associates of the deceased, members of associations, or neighbours.

Remember that the purpose of a pallbearer is to carry the coffin from one location to another. This can be from the hearse to the church or funeral home chapel and to the gravesite.

Coffins can be quite heavy, so make sure all of the pallbearers are capable of lifting. The may have to walk over uneven ground, so female pallbearers should wear comfortable shoes and clothing that enables ease of movement.

Tips on choosing pallbearers:

• Most coffins have six or eight handles, depending on the size. You’ll need to select one pallbearer per handle.
• Men or women may be pallbearers. When selecting them, make sure they can keep their emotions in check. A sudden emotional outburst is disrupting and can make a sad situation even worse.
• Choose carefully. Most of the time, pallbearers are special to the family. They may be very close friends or family members, but you probably don’t want to pick someone who has trouble holding back his or her grief. This includes grandchildren who are old enough for the responsibility, cousins, nieces, nephews, and members of an organization that was dear to the person’s heart.
• Consider naming an honorary pallbearer. If someone isn’t capable of helping carry the coffin, give him the special honour and allow him her to walk or ride his wheelchair beside the coffin.
• Send thank you notes to all of the pallbearers after the funeral.

If you are asked to be a pallbearer

Consider it an honour to be asked to carry the coffin of a loved one or friend. The fact that the person closest to the deceased trusts you with carrying his or her loved one to the final resting place means you were an important part of the deceased person’s life. As difficult as it may be, accept the honour and responsibility that has been given to you.

Tips to follow if you are a pallbearer:

• First, understand what an honour this is. Handle it with respect and dignity.
• Arrive at the funeral on time or early if requested.
• Dress conservatively – a dark suit with a tie for a man and a dark dress or suit for a woman.
• Listen to instructions and special requests from the funeral director and staff. Do what they ask.
• There is typically a special place for the pallbearers to sit during the funeral. Unless you have a valid reason for doing otherwise, stay with the rest of the group.
• Be supportive of family members and stay after the funeral to talk with them. This is the time to let them know what the deceased meant to you.

About eziFunerals

eziFunerals supports individuals and families cope with end of life decisions, death and funerals. We are an independent, Australian-owned and operated company, and are not a subsidiary of any other corporation. We are not part of any other funeral company.

Peter Erceg

Peter Erceg is the Founder and Owner of eziFunerals — Australia’s Independent Funeral Planning Authority. With more than 40 years of experience in government and public health, Peter has become one of the country’s leading voices on funeral transparency, consumer rights, and ethical funeral practices. Through eziFunerals, Peter has built a national platform that empowers Australian families to make informed end-of-life decisions — free from pressure, commissions, and confusion. His goal is simple: "to help every Australian plan smarter, save money, and choose funeral services with confidence." 🕊 eziFunerals was founded by Peter in 2011, as an independent funeral comparison and planning platform that allows consumers to: • Compare local funeral directors and transparent quotes, • Understand real funeral costs across Australia, and • Connect with trusted, independent funeral homes that uphold the Fair Funeral Promise. As Australia’s Independent Funeral Planning Authority, eziFunerals is recognised by media, consumers, and funeral professionals for its leadership in price transparency and consumer protection. “We believe every family deserves a fair, dignified, and affordable farewell — without hidden fees or sales pressure.” 📘 Peter is the author of What Kind of Funeral: A Self-Help Guide to Planning a Meaningful Funeral, a practical guide that has helped thousands of Australians understand their options and avoid unnecessary costs. He regularly contributes articles and commentary on: • Funeral cost transparency and industry reform, • Prepaid funerals and consumer protection, • Emerging trends in eco-friendly and digital memorials, and • The role of AI and technology in end-of-life planning. 🎙 Peter and eziFunerals have been featured in major Australian media outlets including ABC News. His insights continue to shape the national conversation on funeral costs, consumer rights, and ethical practices in the funeral industry. ⚖️ Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by Peter Erceg are his own and do not necessarily reflect those of eziFunerals or its members. The information provided on this site is general in nature and should not be taken as personal, legal, or financial advice. Consumers are encouraged to conduct their own research and compare funeral services that best meet their needs and circumstances.